French Collection

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

Albert Einstein

Don't ask me who's influenced me. A lion is made up of the lambs he's digested,

 and I've been reading all my life.

Charles de Gaulle

Press Start to play

The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.

Marilyn Monroe

Gregos

It's all make believe, isn't it?

Marilyn Monroe

Gregos

Love is madness; if thwarted it develops fast.

The course of free love never runs smooth. I suppose we have all tried it.

Mark Twain

ME

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made a slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain

  One cat just leads to another.

Earnest Hemingway

ME

A consistent thinker is a thoughtless person, because he conforms to a pattern; he repeats phrases and thinks in a groove.

Jiddu Krishnamurti

Groove

True glory takes root, and even spreads; all false pretences, like flowers, fall to the ground;

nor can any counterfeit last long.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

Invading the big Apple

George: Alright Bubble Boy, let's just play. Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?

Bubble Boy: That's a joke. The Moors.

George: Ohhh no! I'm so sorry it's the Moops! The correct answer is the Moops!

NYC

Invader

 

Lucille: Everything looks delicious.

Warden Gentles: Oh, One Eye is a wonderful chef. I've had to go to his parole hearings twice and lie through my teeth to keep him here.

NYC

 Invader

An ode to apple.

NYC

 Invader

Egg Yolk UFO

Concrete Jungle

Homeland

Roger the Alien: [after knocking out two girls in their living room] Did you see where they went?

Stanley Smith: Who?

Roger the Alien: The black guys that did this.

American Dad

 

Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?

Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

 

Captain Zapp: Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.

Fry: Wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first?

Bender: Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission.

Captain Zapp: You're a brave robot, son. But when I'm in command every mission's a suicide mission.

Futurama

The breakfast thing. Yes. It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I don't... I have no problem... it's just there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much I want to "kill" her. It's just I want her not to be alive anymore. Uh... I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, "My God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"

Stewie-Family Guy

"This is your brain." I've seen a lot of weird shit on drugs. I have never ever ever ever EVER looked at a fucking egg and thought it was a brain.

Bill Hicks

Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Homer Simpson

Paris, take your places

Take your places

JBC

 

Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken?

Arrested Development

JB

Everyone's a jerk. You, me, this jerk.

Bender-Futurama

Party everyday

Tristan des Limbes

Tristan des Limbes

I love airports. Feel safe in the airports thanks to the high caliber individuals we

have working at X-ray security. How 'bout this crack squad of savvy motivated personnel?
The way you wanna setup your airport's security, is you want the short,
heavy set women at the front with the skin tight uniform.
That's your first line of defense.
You want those pants so tight the flap in front of the zipper
has pulled itself open, you can see the metal tangs hanging on for dear life.
Then you put the bag on the conveyor belt. It goes through the little luggage car wash.
Then you have the other genius, down at the other end, looking at the little X-ray TV screen.
This Einstein was chosen to stand in front of X-rays 14 hours a day.
It's his profession. Looking in that thing...
I have looked in that TV screen. I cannot make out one object.
He's standing there... "What is that? A hairdryer with a scope on it?"
"That looks ok. Keep it moving."
"Some sort of bowling ball candle? Yeah, I got no problem with that, just..."
"You know, we don't wanna hold up the line."

Jerry Seinfeld

 

"Everything I know, I learned from my dad."

"Yeah, me too."

"Really? You both have the same dad?"

"We don't know. It's possible."

Beavis and Butthead

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Bill Cosby

Turning one's novel into a movie script is rather like making a series of sketches for a painting that has long ago been finished and framed.

Vladimir Nabokov

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

Gordon R. Dickson

And they don't even tell you what the pill does, you see a lady on a horse, or a man in a tub...And they just keep naming symptoms: "Are you depressed, are you lonely, do your teeth hurt?" What the fuck? I saw a commercial the other day that said "Do you go to bed at night and wake up in the morning?" Oh shit, they got one! I got that!

Kramer: You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.

Jerry: I think you're thinking of "You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery".

Kramer: Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.

 

JUST SAY NO

                                                       

To SOPA and PIPA

http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2012/01/18/what-are-sopa-and-pipa-and-why-all-the-fuss/

Tell your reps:
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml



Granada Facetime

There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality;
and then there are those who turn one into the other.
Desiderius Erasmus

Pride will spit in pride's face.
Thomas Fuller

"Listen up faces. In order to save us all some time I will call all the males Daves and all the females Debbies."
"Debbie's actually my name."
"Then out of fairness to the others, your will be Slogathor. Daves, Debbies, Slogathor, I will be in my office, if you need anything, feel free to bother Dorian."
Dr. Kelso-Scrubs

There was a time when people said 'Jim, if you keep making faces, your face will freeze like that'.
Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
Jim Carrey

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.
Mohamed Ali


 

While you're saving your face, you're losing your ass.
Lyndon B. Johnson

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

I'm not an object.

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.

George W. Bush

I hate asking for change. They always make a face. Like I'm asking them to donate a kidney.

George Costanza

 

George: Right now I sit around pretending that I'm busy.
Jerry: How do you pull that off?
George: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time people think you're busy. Think about it...[puts on annoyed face]
Elaine: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!
George: I know what I'm doing. In fact, Mr. Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls. All right, back to work. [puts on annoyed face]

Pippilota Delicatessa Windowshade Longstocking

Lindsay: I'm a living saint and I get nothing out of it.
Michael: You do get a false sense of superiority.
Arrested Development